Assignment five (tutor feedback and my response)

Tutor feedback and my response

My feedback to assignment 5 was by hangout and as always there were some good points and some not so good.

The good 

My idea was good, the image was well constructed and I made good use of lighting.

The ‘before’ and ‘after’ images showing the location in daylight and then again with the final staged image at night were well received and showed how much input there was to produce the final construction.

The connection between aspects of the play (visually and metaphorically) was also good as was the inspiration for the constructed scene.

Technically the image was great with one exception. The branches were too bright, drawing the eye from the main subjects.

The colour balance was good with the orange background being a nice contrast with the main subjects.

The camera to subject distance was good being close enough to the people to see them clearly while still providing a feeling of space.

My response

What’s not to like?

The not so good

We talked about the composition and how it may be improved by cropping the top to remove the actual bus stop sign. The decision was a little uncertain though as improved composition would mean losing some of the significance.

The branches of the tree are a little too bright as they compete with the light from the mobile phones.

My writing should be more concise and I should explain my decisions rather than merely describe them.

My response

I have cropped the image to remove the bus stop which in turn removed some of the over bright branches. Removing the bus stop makes the whole idea of waiting more subtle and makes the tree less of a presence. In retrospect it was almost like a third subject and is improved by still remaining significant but by taking up less space in the image. I was happy that cropping had eliminated most of the too bright branches which reduced the way that the light on the tree competed with the other light.

Regarding my written work, I have revisited my posts to ensure that I have explained the reasons for my decisions. For example, instead of saying that I didn’t want light trails from passing cars, I have explained that light trails would not allow me to portray a deserted lane so I wanted to avoid them.

Initial image, below.

Reworked image, below.

I can see now how the tree monopolised the image and the bus stop sign was perhaps a little too obvious. Derek liked the composition in the cropped image and referred to the triangular shape formed by branches and the background trees. I must admit that I had never really noticed it but now I can’t  avoid seeing it. It does provide a frame for the subjects and the blackness of it provides a contrast to the lighted areas and keeps the eye on the subjects.

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